Why do we find it so hard to tell the truth about what we think, what we like or don't, our opinions etc? Why is it hard to be 'the real me', the real you?
Well, this usually happens when a person is afraid to be criticised. No, please don't get me wrong. I am not talking about the criticism that people use just to make themselves feel better. You know those ones who NEVER have anything good to say noway? and I am NOT talking about self Criticism either! This has NO benefit for you or others around you!
What I actually mean is when a person impedes themselves from being truthful through fear of being criticised or looking bad. Its when we try to hide our faults or the faults of others to be on 'safe ground'.
But this does not work!
We can learn from our mistakes, but only when they are shown. If we hide our frailties, how will we ever change? Like I wrote in my first blog post, we cannot be over sensitive when we are told something we perhaps would rather not hear.
When our mistakes are revealed to us, it is a beautiful stepping stone for us to jump on to continue our everlasting journey of change!
I remember when a family member of mine would always expose my mistakes. Not in a mean way, but in a way for me to see them, and change. However, I always felt 'picked on' (theres that sensitivity again!). Until one day, God showed me that this person was trying to help me. I no longer felt 'picked on', but I felt loved by that person because they cared enough to tell me the truth.
I will be sharing with you over the next few weeks tips on how to accept the truth gracefully and how to tell someone the truth gracefully. I hope it helps you and your friendships and relationships!
Tip 1: If your first reaction is to lash back at the person giving the criticism, or to become defensive, take a minute before reacting at all. Take a deep breath, and give it a little thought.
Often, our first reactions are never the best ones, especially if we have just heard something painful to our dear egos. So take time to understand what the person is saying.
You may find it to be true after all!
Mrs Lizzi. I remember when I stopped telling the truth. I was so tried of letting things slip between us. Although she was a good friend of mine yet still I couldn't speak the truth but really go deep. Until one day she did something to upset me and I really had to speak. However it didn't turn out the way I expected. From then our friendship turned cold. So much so that I would block myself from speaking or being myself around her because I would think ahh she not going to understand or she going to take it the wrong way. What I did and I am doing is wrong. Its only till I read this post that I realised as I am typing this.
ReplyDeleteWhy should we hold back. If we truly love this person we must speak to help them. I say that I seek to have true friends someone who will tell me when I am wrong and I need to fix up. But I would never have that friend if I don't start being one.
Thanks for sharing really did help now I have some amending to do in my friendship.
P.s I will be following you tips.
We are our worst critics, so we should not be upset if we get a little help from a friend or loved one who want to show us our mistakes.
ReplyDeleteThe truth is not everyone is ready to hear some 'home truths'. We have to be aware of that.
If you have friends who will value your honesty, great!
Yeah I suppose it not for everyone. I am really looking forward in reading your tips so I can see where my faults are and change into being that friend
ReplyDelete